🔹 The Most Dangerous Voice in the Room
Transforming your inner dialogue to build the life you were meant to lead.
I’ve been noticing something lately.
Whether I’m at work, at home, at the gym, or even just scrolling online, there’s a voice I keep hearing—and it’s not a kind one. It’s the voice that says:
“I can’t.”
“It’s too much.”
“I’ll never get through this.”
“What’s the point?”
And the kicker? Sometimes that voice isn’t even out loud—it’s internal. It’s mine. And I hear it in others too.
At work, it sounds like:
“We’re under-resourced. We’re understaffed. There’s no way to get through the real priorities with all this other stuff in the way.”
At home, it shows up as:
“I’m too tired. Too overwhelmed. I’ll do it tomorrow… maybe next week…”
And at the gym, oh boy:
“What fresh hell is this workout?”
“There’s no way I can do a single-leg deadlift—my balance sucks.”
It’s the narrative of “not enough.”
Not strong enough. Not smart enough. Not supported enough. Not capable enough.
And while some of those things might feel true, the truth underneath them is this:
That voice is a habit.
And it’s keeping us from the life we’re trying to build.
🔹 Utopia, Interrupted
I’ve fallen into this trap myself—more than once. Even now, as I work to build my own version of Administrative Utopia, I’ve caught myself in the loop of negativity.
Take my home, for example. When we moved here, it came with my dream kitchen—bright lights, six-burner stove, double oven, the whole thing. The exact kitchen I used to dream about back in Colorado.
And yet?
After a while, I caught myself complaining. Again.
Too many cabinets to clean. Too much countertop clutter. Too many burners to wipe down.
Seriously? That’s when I realized—I was nitpicking blessings.
Same thing happened when I landed what I thought was my dream role. I had worked hard for this opportunity. But a few months in, I started nitpicking. Doubting. Worrying. Complaining.
Why?
Because I had built a habit of seeing what’s missing instead of what’s unfolding.
It wasn’t the kitchen. It wasn’t the job. It was the lens I was looking through.
🔹 Flip the Script
I’m a longtime fan of Wayne Dyer, who said:
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
So I started changing the narrative.
Instead of:
“This kitchen is too much work,”
I say: “Wow. Remember when I dreamed of this? What a gift this space is.”
Instead of:
“This job is exhausting,”
I remind myself: “Look at the impact I’m making. Look at the connections I’ve built. Look at the possibilities I haven’t even tapped into yet.”
And you know what?
It works.
Because the voice that says “you can’t” isn’t just annoying—it’s damaging.
As Mel Robbins aptly puts it, negative self-talk is like death by a thousand cuts.
Each quiet criticism, each moment of doubt, each “I’m not good enough” chips away at our confidence, clarity, and courage.
But here’s the good news: you can stop the bleeding by changing the script.
🔹 The Science of Self-Talk
Mel Robbins recently had Ethan Kross on her podcast—he’s the author of Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It and The Secret Life of the Mind. Their conversation cracked open the power (and danger) of self-talk.
Kross explains that our inner monologue, if left unchecked, can spiral into a mental loop that drives stress, anxiety, and even physical symptoms. But there are tools to interrupt that cycle:
✅ Journaling – Dump it all on the page. Get it out of your head and into the light.
✅ Distanced Self-Talk – Speak to yourself in the third person. It creates a helpful emotional buffer. “Irene, you’re doing great. You’ve got this.”
✅ Temporal Distancing – Ask yourself: “How will I feel about this in a week? A year?”
🔹 From the Bike to the Boardroom
I’ve started using these tools everywhere—even on my bike.
When I’m climbing a hill and that voice creeps in—
“You’re slow.”
“You’re not strong enough.”
I coach myself.
“Irene, look at you showing up.”
“You’re strong.”
“You’re doing the hard thing.”
Same goes for work.
When the to-do list feels impossible and the self-doubt kicks in, I breathe and say:
“You care deeply. That’s a strength, not a flaw. You’re here to make a difference—and you are.”
That one small shift changes everything.
🔹 Tiny Steps, Big Impact
In The 5 Second Rule, Mel Robbins writes:
“If you have an instinct to act on a goal, you must physically move within 5 seconds or your brain will kill it.”
So I use it.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1—send the email.
Start the workout.
Make the call.
Flip the thought.
🔹 Your Utopia Depends on You
If you’re stuck, spiraling, or feeling paralyzed by your own inner voice—pause.
Breathe.
Speak to yourself the way you would to someone you love.
Because this is how we build our Utopia—
Not with perfect circumstances, but with powerful self-compassion.
One kind thought.
One conscious breath.
One tiny act of belief in yourself.
✨ With you on the path,
Irene
Such a valuable podcast - thanks for sharing. And I can so relate to your commentary, as well!